Oh well, long time since I last blogged about a day. Nothing much to post on lately? I mean, nothing's much happening. Every single day of my goddamned life seems to be all so mundane. UNTIL TODAY. I SERIOUSLY DETEST IT.
So, went home, and went out to eat without going to CCA. The acrid truth is, I've decided on not going back. I can't get myself to, I feel too frightened to actually muster enough courage to turn back where I am standing now and return to my CCA. Frankly speaking, there's just utterly no way. I'm willing to start on a new one and devote my time to it, but definitely NOT SJAB. I can't even get myself to go back. Just thinking about it makes me shudder in utter fear. Is this a CCA that I should commit more time to? My answer, no. It makes me more frightened than blissful.
I never really did enjoyed SJAB a lot. There wasn't a single time where I screamed, "SJAB rocks." However, there were times where I was lucky serving as a SJAB, for I could easily escape from some events and also get to participate in other activities such as rendering aid. I truly appreciated those opportunities, for it made me life brighter by those, and not as dull. I thank them for those, and some of the hilarious moments shared in training, but that's all. I'm not cut out to be a uniformed group member. I should have known right from the start.
So, today, at approximately 5, my phone rang and I braced myself for the worst. It was within CCA time. None of my friends could be calling me, for they are all having CCA. Not my Primary school friends either, for they don't call now, they simply sms as all lazybums. Just kidding about that, they are all meticulous peeps. So I answered it, hoping it wasn't what I expected, but too bad, it WAS.
At the other end was Hwee Ping, and she was tensely demanding that I returned to the school right away to hand up the walkathon card, saying my senior was dead furious about it. I didn't give a damn. I couldn't even head back to Swiss Cottage. So I told her, NO, and that I would give it to Mr. Ethan Wong on MONDAY. But she refused, saying it must be handed up, NOW.
I was flustered. DAMN THOSE PEOPLE! So I continued persuading with my heart palpitating, and eventually SGT Zahin came to the phone, telling me, "Okay... i'll call you back later if there's anything else." in a very calm and placid manner. It's good that it WAS Zahin, for he's like... a nice senior. I'm sure if it was the other seniors they'd be screaming at me. WHY DID YOU NOT COME FOR CCA WHEN YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO? WHY AREN'T YOU HANDING UP YOUR CARDS? The truth is, I didn't who to hand it up to, and when. No one told me, and Hwee Ping said she sent an sms, but I guessed with the status of my rotten phone, the message must have not reached me.
I really hate the CCA now after this small incident. I know seniors are trying to get their work done and I shouldn't add too much to their workload, but seriously, if they call one more time, on my home phone, I'm going all out. I'm not going to hold back. They ignited me, filling me up so much with animosity until I can really run bonkers. This is this. That is that. I know I'm unable to quit, but at the same time, I'm unable to go back, so there's utterly NO WAY I'M GOING BACK. They'd better know it well, my seniors. But I don't think they do, for, Zahin was still treating me like as if I was still back in the squad, not pon-ning, calling me Peiyun this and that. I really appreciate his kindness though, but sorry, I'M NOT GOING BACK.
I know I sound a little obstinate and not the usual Pei Yun that you know all along, but do try to bear with me. I'm currently running a temper over this... Because when you really hate something, and that something keeps coming to you, everyone will be insane.
Right now, my anathema is... SJAB.
I thank you for the memories, SJAB, but I hate you for the pain I went through. I'm such a fragile and weak person, thus, there's no way I'd enjoy it in there. I'm weaker than everyone else, and that's a very apparent fact.
I hope you'd understand, and loosen your rope on my little foot; set me free!

Welcome

F.T Island is a five-member Korean boyband. But in contrary to many popular boybands, FTI boys play their own instruments and only two of them are the 'vocalists' of the band.
Their music can be described as pop/rock (with a big number of rock ballads). The name F.T Island stands for 'Five Treasure Island'; each of the five members being a treasure. They officially debuted on 7th June 2007, performing on M!Countdown and releasing their first album Cheerful Sensibility (which was the 6th best selling album of 2007 in South Korea), though before that they appeared on M!Net's 'Wanna Be My Girlfriend?'.
Their latest album is Cross and Change. Members include: Lee Hong Ki, Choi Jong Hun, Choi Min Hwan, Song Seung Hyun & Lee Jae Jin.
xx

And yes, I welcome all my friends to my humble abode (to which I shall try very hard to update. If you don't know me, DON'T judge me.)