あふれる人でにぎわう8月末のお祭り
浴衣を着て下駄も履いて
からん　ころん　音をたてる
ふいにあがった花火を二人で見上げた時
夢中で見てる君の顔をそっと盗み見たの

君の事嫌いになれたらいいのに
今日みたいな日にはきっと
また思い出してしまうよ

こんな気持ち知らなきゃよかった
もう二度と会えることもないのに
会いたい　会いたいんだ
今でも想う　君がいたあの夏の日を

少し疲れて二人　道端に腰掛けたら
遠く聞こえるお囃子の音
ひゅるりら　鳴り響く
夜空に咲いた大きな大きな錦冠
もう少しで夏が終わる
ふっと切なくなる

逆さまのハートが打ちあがってた
あははって笑いあって
好きだよって
キスをした

もう忘れよう　君のこと全部
こんなにも悲しくて
どうして出会ってしまったんだろう
目を閉じれば
今も君がそこにいるようで

甘い吐息
微熱を帯びる私は君に恋した
その声に　その瞳に
気づけば時は過ぎ去ってくのに
まだ君の面影を探して

一人きりで見上げる花火に
心がちくりとした
もうすぐ次の季節が
やって来るよ
君と見てたうたかた花火
今でも想う　あの夏の日を

The reason why I posted this song's lyrics? Sadly, for people who were expecting a sane explanation behind my actions- well, there's none. I just saw this song as a beauty. I've admired Supercell for quite some time, after their song actually got me crying- Kimi Shiranai no Monogatari (or something like that; my memory is beginning to fail me these days). Kimi Shiranai no Monogatari, or easily translated into "The Story That You Didn't Know", was touching in its own unique way. I kept thinking about it over and over in my head, how it rings such heartache and melancholy.

The story that you would never know. The story of my love.

My blood cries out- I want to type a story off this. If O levels has not bound me down, I would have jumped straight at fabricating an angsty story out of the bits that I'm left with. Recently, I found O levels just a thorn in the flesh. I guess this is what you call life?

Nothing much happened in these few weeks that I've been inactive from my blog. Or rather, I do not like to recall. Once it's over, it's over. I've just been trying to study and what-have-you, doing homework, attending CCA sessions, getting terribly screwed up during physical training, and last but not least, indulging myself in my hobbies. My hobbies take up half of my time, while the other, of course, I reluctantly offer to education.

What have I been doing then? Nothing out of the ordinary- I've been reading extensively, training my La Tale character (to which it's still stuck at a pathetic Level 51), listening to songs, and recently I've added a new hobby to the list- WRITING SONG LYRICS. I've started off writing Chinese song lyrics, most likely to inspire myself to do better in Chinese. I've been listening to Chinese songs with beautiful, touching lyrics that delivers an impact that no English song can, and I was so captivated- I just had to give it a try.

My first few works are not to be spoken of.

But my latest work is titled "夜" which I found deeply mesmerizing. If time ever allows the chance- I'd publish my work here.

I shall end my short blog post here. I never planned on typing this anyway- just felt like it.

Till then.

Happy Valentine's Day!

It has been an aeon (close to) since I last TOUCHED my laptop. True enough, I had sent it for repair a week ago and I have just received it back. To my chagrin though, my motherboard had been replaced. I knew this was coming, that my motherboard was getting swapped for another one, but the feeling of having to look at this empty, hollow computer that used to be mine- to be devoid of any files and programs... is lonely.

So, why am I posting today?

There is no particular reason in question- I just felt like posting. Nothing wrong with going with your heart, is there? Probably I should just dabble myself in the mundane activities that any average teen would, log onto the net and start typing a blog post and start swearing away at teachers, adversaries and what-have-you. I would love to do that too, just that well, I rarely breed animosity within me. This leads to a lack of writing content and normally I end up rambling about something that does not seem to concern about my life a lot.

Maybe today I'd just do a slight change and depict what happened to me today.

Honestly, nothing happened to me today. I woke up, and felt like crap. Indeed, my throat was akin to a dessicated fruit, its moisture getting sucked up by some unknown THING, and it's abandoned there to swell and expand in size. I climbed out of bed and my mother was staring at me curiously, almost questioning my health. I questioned my health, but wait- I did feel all right on general.

Apparently, I looked like some kind of ghostly apparition in her eyes. She was telling me to take another medical leave, but I told her I had common tests today, and getting another medical leave would just be troublesome. Seriously, it would. The teachers would all be eyeing me keenly, just waiting for me to hand out that medical certificate (more like a piece of cheap paper) that would have cost me about 30 friggin' bucks just to attain it. So I need to spend 30 friggin' bucks just to prove my reliability and truthfulness. And either way, I had SYF rehearsal. It was better to get my butt down there to just check out the whole place out and probably get myself in tune with what was going to occur on the actual competition date.

When I reached school, it was a little late as usual, given the hectic stream of traffic in the mornings. Apparently the 'Valentine' mood WAS around in the class. I felt a little guilty for forgetting to bring chocolates with me. I am one who will give without expecting anything in return, that's why. However, it isn't because I am too selfish or anything, I have truly forgotten to bring the chocolates along with me. True, the easiest excuse, but do you really want to blame your brain for having forgotten it when it has to computes millions of things per day? Honestly, stop putting so much pressure on your brain. I mean just think about it, seriously.

So I just sat around for a little bit, trying to write a story but obviously my pen tip could not even reach the paper. I was suffering from a serious case of writer's block. I wouldn't blame myself since that story has been written about two years ago, terminated and now I'm trying to pick up from where I had stopped two years ago. It is not quite the easy feat, since I normally terminate stories at points whereby I do not feel inclined to write any further. But wait- it has my favourite story background. From Fullmetal Alchemist. I cannot resist not writing about the comely blonde-haired alchemist, his brother in an armor, the... (how do I describe her in the best way possible?) The nice but well-I-still-hate-her Winry Rockbell, or AKA their mechanic friend. And my main girl is just so awesome that I cannot not write about her.

Thus, while I dilly-dallied, time around me slipped past me and when I looked up, I was shocked to see Ms Wu standing in front of the classroom. Not exactly who I was expecting to see, seriously. While I was wondering what to do, we had to stand and sing the National Anthem. Honestly, I wanted to sing but my sore throat prevented me from doing so. Thus, the classroom settled into a chilling silence.

Afterwards, we were told to daydream while waiting for the clock hand to reach the perfect number. I was staring in front at the whiteboard, spacing out honestly, and Kai Wei began telling me how he would fail if the first question did not have a part (a), since he had written it down on his blank sheet of paper. I just kept staring on, just waiting for time to pass by. Eventually she handed down the question paper, and when she told us to check for missing pages, I eagerly checked the questions and the questions testing on vocabulary. They all seemed manageable, but hey, you never know. Besides, I haven't exactly executed my revenge plan. I have fallen sick, remember? And sick people have sick brains that do not function as properly, or at least this is to my logic. (When you are sick God normally bless you a bit more luck than you normally have, no?)

However, it turned out that there were some people who had missing pages. Thus we waited for a pretty long time just for SOMEONE to reach the people responsible. Apparently Ms Wu could not contact them, thus we just sat there and waited. Me? I sat there with lifeless eyeballs fixed on the whiteboard. Zombie-fied. Hell yeah.

When finally SOMEONE came to give us some extra sheets of question papers, I heard Kai Wei commenting, "Beautiful woman", and thus I looked outside and realized for myself his extent of sarcasm. Hmm.

The paper was manageable. The questions... were less challenging than the practice questions that Mdm Choo had given us. Thus, I was cursing myself for my ill-rotten health. If I was in 100%, honestly, the paper would have been a piece of cake. I mean, seriously. When I was sitting for the best I had a throbbing headache. And every time I coughed the aching worsened. Worse still, I had difficulty writing down words. How marvellous, I am really getting all the luck in the world.

Now, I have to console my bleeding self that the common test is just a checkpoint, and that the major battleground is the 'o' levels. However I can't help but wonder, given my wonderful luck, wouldn't I end up in a similar state as I am right now? Thus, somehow, I know, I have to start building up myself that even if I fall ill, I have enough determination and kick that I would still 'mug' and perform exceptionally.

Afterwards, I excused myself from the classroom and headed down to LT2 to join the rest of the Chinese Orchestra crew for one hour of torture I mean, E-maths paper. When I went down I was thinking to myself, all the people here are smart people, so what is the logical thing they would say after finishing the paper? "It was very easy!" Thus I braced myself mentally for such devastating comments that would injure my fragile mentality. Yes, indeed, I am SO inclined in my Mathematics with their GIBBERISH language and PROFOUND questions that do not make any sense!

As expected I was writing at snail's pace and my headache seemed to be screaming away inside my eardrums. Thus, well, I do not carry high hopes with me for attaining high scores and probably OWNING Ms Wu, as Kai Wei calls it. Probably enough to show her I do know something out of her lesson, just not EVERYTHING. She was telling me to go find her, since she did not want to end up in a messy situation whereby I didn't know anything, so I just had to show her I DID know something- and everything should be fine. I hope.

Afterwards, we reported straight to the CO room and began the arduous task of transporting our instruments down to the lobby. As expected from the weak, fragile me I failed to carry anything heavy. I felt like falling every time I carried something, but since Jia Min was also complaining about her own body discomforts, I felt much compelled to shut my traps and just carry the items without grumbling. I wasn't one to talk after all.

At the concert hall, I played briefly, occasionally forgetting some parts but still managing to play some notes which seemingly blended in with the majority thanks to my familiarity with the entire song. It was at this moment that I realized that I was supposed to play for both songs, despite their claims that I only could play one. Mr Low was staring at me curiously and when he finally asked, Ting Peng looked like someone squeezed all his life juices out of him. Our instructor came up the stage and was shouting "Didn't I tell you guys? Didn't I tell you guys?" and I was just dumbfounded. Sorry mate, I didn't attend two sessions.

So either way, it means I'm going up for both songs. Even Journey. Well, I'm all right with Journey since I had (sort of) memorized the song.

Then we left, went back to CO room, and I sneaked around my classroomattempted to enter my classroom bravely and once I was inside everyone started flooding me with a few more chocolate. Hmm. I took them while lamenting about how I could not even eat them. Thanks to you, sore throat. I am so forever indebted to your kindness that I would live to remember it.

Thereafter, I sat around the classroom, talking to Chiew Xia mostly, ranting about my day and whatever in my raspy voice and distracting her from her school work. As expected from a demoness . Sabotaging others.

Then, I was walking home, and the scorching sun beat down upon me mercilessly. While I walked, I was trying to drink some water. Then, out of nowhere, "BYE PEIYUN!" This voice erupted. My brain that was about to get into slumber mode was awakened subtlely and I looked across the road, to find a single file of three guys who were staring at me. I stared back, before I found out who called. I waved.

The delayed syndrome as Yuxuan calls it- once again demonstrated by my slow nervous relay system.

**

My day ended here. Though there has been something hanging around in my mind for some time now. I felt the impulse to share it with someone, but honestly, who would really understand the 'predicament' that I was in? When I did not get back my laptop, I was still grumbling to my friend that I would roasted on Valentine's if I did not get back my laptop on time, but it turns out it was the same result either way. He never came online and I was just, well, fed with the same consequences.

In Japan, they have a 'tradition' of girls giving guys chocolates on Valentine's Day. In return, the guys will give the girls chocolates on White's Day, which falls on March 14th. This only applies in Japan. And my dear friend, he did something which would attract me the same 5 girls who just does not seem to get over the fact that their chocolates cannot be handed out. Seriously, how does this have to do with me? It's more like they need someone to push the blame on, and HOLA! I am the perfect subject to subject for verbal abuse!

Well, but sadly, it takes more than 5 girls to try and torment and successfully wound me. And I mean it.

Now, with all those said, catch MBLAQ in Stay.

You can't see me. You can't feel me. But, you have to believe in my existence.

I am back for another blog post! This certainly is a surprise- since I rarely am (bothered) enough to actually type out another 'literary essay' as my friends address it. Of course, this is at the sacrifice of my personal studying time, which I have re-scheduled to a later time slot so as to allow myself some 'relaxing' time to get on the ingenius Internet and type a flurry of words so as to spare my brain some unneccessary fuss.

Recently, I've been thinking about what kind of a person I am. And what is my mission in this life. Life, is beautiful thing, like I've always mentioned and insisted. Yet, what on earth is life? What is the purpose for the beings sleeping up in the firmament, watching over us- to give me this precious, fragile little gift? I keep staring through this pair of eyes of mine- and I start to think- why am I in this body? What's the true, genuine reason that I'm able to see, feel, hear, speak and think?

If I were to sum up myself in one word, of course that word would undoubtedly never stray away from this, "insane". I'm not calling myself mentally deranged without any evidence, of course.

Insanity?

Just what on earth do you define 'insanity'? Personally, I define this word as someone who does things out of the ordinary, things that normal, average people do not engage themselves in and they stand out with their peculiar behavior that others deem inappropriate and at times disturbing.

Indeed, I seem to fill in all the gaps- all the requirements to be labelled 'insane'. So should you ring up some random mental hospital and admit me into their care? Probably, but when they take a good look at me from up down, they'd be seizing you into custody instead. True, I look normal and I act normal.

As such, what's up with this 'I'm insane' crazy talk? First and foremost, I don't think there's any one who doesn't know that I have an odd obsession for languages. It seems to me that the only things that my brain can register are words, pronunciations and meanings. It is so speedy in understanding and comprehending words that even I am in awe of its might and prowess at times. (Even though, well, when you are the person possessing the awesome ability...) French is a romantic subject. Japanese is a refined, funky language. Korean is a queer language that strikes out to me just as squares, circles and line, but it holds its own charm, English, with all its complex and beauty, Chinese, with an even more profound aura surrounding it... And all the rest of the languages that I haven't even had time to dabble in.

How many people really look at a word and go, "WOW, this word is just... so beautiful..." Can you feel it? When you see these words such as "Midnight", "Euphoria", "Melancholy", "Masquerade". Do you feel this adrenaline rush through your blood as these words pop up on the screen? 'cuz you know what?

I do.

All these words can send little sparks of static energy curdling through my bloodstream.

Secondly, I have a habit of talking to myself, even if I clearly know no one is listening to me. I just like to mumble and mumble to myself like a demented fool, grinning and laughing out of nowhere as I speak- to myself, and feeling blissful over what I've just said- to myself. Plus, I have rich facial expressions to go along with my mad self-conversations. So, when you see someone with all the above traits, what's the first thing that comes into your mind? Yes, indeed. "This person has got to be crazy." No?

Thirdly, getting engrossed and indulged in my own world. Why, some people really do understand me well and can even read my character. One of my friends mentioned, to my astonishment, this exact statement, "Don't bother about her, she's always trapped inside her little world." I was really shocked, and my mouth nearly hung wide when I heard that, since rarely was there anyone who could do such a startlingly accurate analysis of my personality. True enough, I am trapped inside my fancy, beautiful, imaginary world where unicorns and leprechauns unite, rainbows cascading over azurean blue skies dotted with fluffy, magnolia-colored clouds, grasses a sparkling green, coupled with flowers of a million hues. Yes, it seems like the colorful world of a toddler who still has high hopes about the world that he is so foreign to.

When you look inside a baby's eyes, what do you see?

Do you see a glint? A glimmer? Almost like hope? Like excitement? Don't their eyes just seem to shine- as though they enjoy being alive, just being able to see all the things around them move past in a blur?

The joy of not knowing anything of the acrid pain that lies beneath the intricately embroidered facade.

With all those said- what is my world like? When I retreat inside my little world, it is a confined space, black, complete nothing-ness. I can distinctly see the four different walls, as they restrict me inside the imaginary, made-up space, before it begins to spread out, vanishing into the distance; the boundaries slowly disppearing into oblivion. And then I can see sakura petals, floating off a certain source, before the floor beneath me transforms into a sea of dark water, and I simply fall right through the water, sinking deeper and deeper, bubbles escaping from my lips- in a cry for help, but I've lost hope in it all, because I know nobody's in here with me.

The moon's image reflected at the surface of the sea is a crooked, distorted sickle, tainted red as though bathed in blood.

And I just sink, sink, sink, and sink.

**

Today, Mdm Choo has also kindly returned us our scripts which she deemed 'underachieving and disappointing'. Of course she did not have to spell it out for a dunce like me to fathom that we fared poorly for the free-writing test. When she began announcing the distinctions and what-not, I bet everyone was a little surprised not to hear my name being mentioned as one of the top scorers, even though the other top scorers were mentioned.

Actually, I did not really care since this time I had slipped up and failed to complete my essay. While everyone could be mulling over my failure and wondering if I had, just like Mdm Choo had mentioned, been too arrogant about my own achievements and capabilities in English and had slipped up in this test, performing non-consistently.

This time, I'm just going to bite onto all these words, all these words that I think people have (just another of my delusions), chew them, and then swallow them in full, for my poor stomach to digest them all.

The next time, I promise. I will show the class what I am capable of. Just they wait.

I'm going to get back at them and prove to them who's strongest.

Even though my mark of 19 is considerably good considering that I had failed to EVEN finish the bloody essay- I wasn't going to allow another one of these to happen and make people think they've overtaken me in English. Hell no. I don't mind if it's comprehension or what-have-you, but essay? Sorry, but this is my territory. Strictly my property, no?

I'm contemplating revenge.

And when I'm done with all- I want to see my A One on my 'O' Level certificate.

I'm going to get right back up from where I've fallen.

D3stinyx is never going to go down.

At least not for English.

**

In this few weeks since I've ended my guitar course due to a hectic Secondary Four life, I have been missing my guitar. I have no intentions of actually picking it up just to strum a few songs, because, well, for reasons unclear. Yuxuan, like the bastard he is, had been flooding my sms inbox with senseless comments that make no sense like, "If you stop playing guitar, you'd become even more stupid."

Well, sorry mate, your comment did not even make a single sense.

I know it sounds curt to address him with such insolent mannerisms, but do not fret, he treats me in the exact manner and I've had enough of him and thus, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. If this is how he treats me, it'd be how I treat him.

While he acts like a jerk all the time, he always has this soft side to himself that I don't think even he knows. He's just a contradicting person, honestly. On one hand he's like this, but sub-consciously he's someone else. He has kindly been arranging time to come to my house just to teach me how to play guitar, but I told him it's all right, since most of the times it ends with him just sniding at my face, "You can't even play such a simple song?" Thus, to save my knuckle from being bruised from landing a blow on his face- I have refused his kindness.

Hello, little one, what are you looking for? >///<

FT Island's Lee Jae Jin has successfully retained his adorable-ness even after a decade in the passing. While most of us hold up our baby photos and lament how much we have changed and grown- from the cherubic little angels with youth glowing blissfully upon our faces to the forlorn, much more matured faces that we hold now. Indeed, I have grown too. When I think about how I was before, so ignorant to everything, so indulged in everything that I did, not knowing really what I did... Sometimes, perhaps, to be that kind of person was the ideal.

When I was young, I was very innocent. People all say that I'm innocent even now, however I think this is attributed to my muddle-headed personality; not knowing anything. When I was young, I had more determination. If I said I wanted something, I'd really set down my heart to do it. I was more meticulous about things, and I was much more good-tempered and mature than I actually am right now. Have I transformed into a devil? My guess is: most probably.

Yet, what's the use of crying over spilt milk? I have come to accept the demoness that resides in the depths of my heart- waiting for the chance to charge and overwhelm my body, taking full reign.

All these aside, 2011 had not been exactly... refreshing. When time flies past before your eyes, and another new year dawns... Sometimes, it does not really feel like a year has really passed. 2010 for me passed in a blink of an eye. What did I do in 2010? My memories are vague, almost as though nothing of much significance really occurred.

The first few weeks weren't any different than how they have always been. Yet, this year, I have decided that I have to start accomplishing something. And I have decided to take my first few steps to establishing myself firmly on the net as a good writer. I want to be able to finish many things. The time for me to fly out of cosy warm nest is encroaching- and I have to start preparing for that time. This timid, reliant personality has to be pushed to an inconspicous area and forgotten.

Just in the first week of the new school term, I have lost my girl-magnet. Oh yes, I have allowed it to slip right through my fingers. I have always been with... blessed; do you call this a blessing I'm not sure- but either way I have always been sitting with gals for the majority of my school life.

When Mdm Wan changed my seat, I was actually wondering who I have ended up with, and when I realized it was Kai Wei I was actually a little astonished. Well, if there was a reason behind it, it would be because Kai Wei is all-rounded, while I... sucked terribly in my Maths and Sciences. So, probably, in a sense he's there as motivation and help?

Kai Wei is a fun person to be with, just that he's really the chatterbox everyone claims him to be. I envy his intelligence, something that I know I can never possess- he can talk throughout a lesson without listening to what the teacher is saying and yet still know how to answer all the questions without much difficulty. I bet he studies a lot at home, even though he keeps insisting that he doesn't.

But sometimes I find that the seating arrangement is a mismatch. You see, I don't really feel comfortable talking to guys. It's not that I have some kind of phobia or guy-hatred, it's just my personality, preferring to keep things to myself and probably to my friends. So, actually, me and him, it's like a robot talking to a log. Everytime I answer him it'd be something stashed with incomprehensible language. Well, I'm used to saying things in formal language, that's why at times, I allow myself to be set free and say whatever I want. Generally, I'm quiet.

For Chinese Orchestra- we've been set in full gear for the SYF. Though, most probably, most people can feel the tension. But I can. And I'm sure all the sheng-ers can. We only have one zhongyinsheng left for three freaking people to play, and we do not even have enough time to practise on it. If they return us too late, all of us are screwed. Seriously, SCREWED. Of all the months we spent begging the teachers to send them for repairs, the repair really did come late. I can't believe that Swiss Cottage, a pretty good school, can be so desperate for some money.

My instrument is already struggling for the Chinese New Year performance. I doubt I can really play the song by Chinese New Year, there's 2 freaking songs with beats that I'm foreign to- so fast and so many different fingerings, and the song is actually really long. Mr. Low kept stating that the Chinese New Year songs were so easy- I would like to see him try our instrument. I know my instrument is easy to play, but try to memorize it. You'd have such a terrible time, and plus the beat is VERY fast for both songs. I lack the technique to go up on stage, and Jia Min lacks the confidence to go up on stage. Moreover, Ting Peng doesn't really want to go on stage? He hasn't even practising the CNY songs. Only one of us can go since there's only one instrument. So I'm wondering, what to do?

If this keeps up, we are all screwed for SYF. Seriously. And I have SSP as well. I am already wasting lots of time for Chinese Orchestra practice, and I have a hard time trying to catch up with fast songs!

...

Recently, I've been hearing and seeing things.

Yes, I'm starting to lose my sanity.

Everywhere I go, I can hear his voice. I can see his face.

His image is just like a lingering, persistent ghost that has detached from its original body and left to wander around, bugging me.

Yes, why, am I indebted to this show...

To relive my wrath against puny, weeny, whiny girls.

Recently I've downloaded an anime off the wonderful Internet, and it came with a name, Nurarihyon no Mago, or the Grandson of Nurarihyon, in English. I am not here to bash it, in fact I like the idea behind the story, but the ONLY and SOLE thing that I detest so much about this show is basically the fact that there is one or maybe two EXTREMELY annoying girls in the show that just kept me rolling my eyeballs.

Yes, why, I ALWAYS hate girls like that. They go screaming, NO NO NO NO with BLOODY irritating voices that boils your temperature and then they go blushing at the handsome guys and going all doki-doki, red-faced, and all fidgety and murmuring. And then they care a lot for that guy, always wanting to see him and what-have-you. It is BLOODY irritating and I hate it. Utterly hate it.

Actually, I just have a very important question to ask.

Is this actually an act to carry across the message that girls are always like that?

For one fact, it can very well be true.

For another, it is just overgeneralization.

In the anime, the girl who goes by the name "Hana" or "Flower" in Japanese, IS NOT EXACTLY A FLOWER. She is by far one of the most annoying girls that I've seen in a Shounen anime/manga. She's the kind of friend I'd love to have in real life, sweet and kind and friendly, but her screaming and all is just an overload. I mean, get a life. Probably she's only 13 years old. But she was way too annoying.

Or maybe it's just that I prefer tougher girls? Like Yura, the onmyouji.

I feel that romance stories nowadays are just a bunch of crap messed around with each other. Especially in animes. I was so so so disappointed with Psyren. At Amamiya. And now Hana. Well Hana is just really an eyesore. A real eyesore. Even her voice is. I don't care who the voice-actor is, the character really soiled her. I mean Hana is just... Urgh. I don't know. It apparently made me angry enough to want to post about her.

Generally, the story was good, though cliched.

The opening was by Monkey Magik. For a while I was listening and didn't know it was by him. Pretty cool. Never thought I would hear his voice for some time now.

Either way, the recent slashings also brought me to another fact...

That perhaps teens like me are just getting more immature by the day. Or probably the books are driving us nuts. Screwing us too tight. Or probably that's what I want to think for an excuse to get away from the papers.

The sign for a new revolution, perhaps? As seen in Psyren. That the world is eventually coming to an end. No matter how you look at it, the world practically rests upon humans. And I for one, can tell you, humans will NOT be able to sustain this world. We are the needy ones. Not the Earth. The Earth is practically the giver. They give and give and give and we just take. Because we have to. And because we want to.

When selfishness comes into play, how do we save this Earth?

I do not mind the end of the world. It probably marks the start to a new generation.

I love life.

It would be sad to say goodbye.

Life is such a beautiful, sentimental object. It allows you to feel so many things you have never felt before, truly entertaining things, and it is the key outside a gilded cage.

Though yet again, there's no helping it. Humanity has evolved into a stage where it has become impossible.

While people still go on with their everyday lives, I can sense it.

The end, drawing near. Curdling in my blood.

Or probably that's my curiosity at work, trying to be smart, trying to be different.

No matter what it is, what will I see when I wake up?

Green hands? Purple fingers?

Who knows?

Eto ne, I'm finally back on my blog after god-knows-how-long. Recently, the skies haven't exactly been the prettiest and I haven't been as hale and hearty as I should have been. Yes, imagine it- I've been down with fever, diarrhoea, nausea and what sickly disorientations you have, for TWO WHOLE FRIGGIN' weeks. So it would make me seem like a triple offender (the days I've not been going for club is three days) but hell, not like I care. My club isn't going to bring me up to heaven. Without my health- I am.

Today, as I blog this, my own Secondary School is having its annual open house. Honestly speaking, I was looking forward to it. I wanted to perform again. But well, since I missed my very last year of being able to participate in it... I don't really care no more. For one very simple reason- I don't like my school THAT much so well heck, when parents ask me, "What is good about this school?" And my response would most likely be either, "Uhhh... I don't know, hang on. (looks around) Psst! Psst! Can you come over here and answer this highly difficult question?" or, "What's good about this school? Ahahahaha! You want to know my honest opinion? Well, here goes- NOTHING."

Either way, while I was sick, I could not do much. All the things I wanted to do- I couldn't. I could not play my NDS, I could not read my manga, I could not sit down and read a book- because those required too much attention. So I only randomly surfed a few webpages, checked email and all. It was a horrible, dreadful feeling to just sit around, and having that revolting sensation surging through your veins.

However once it reached day 3, which was yesterday, I could do something. So what I did was to go online and read manga. And what did I read? The number one manga on Mangafox- Psyren. I wanted to know what was so good about the manga. What captivated people. And I finished all 142 chapters of it (it was updated till there)in that very day itself.

So what are my opinions about it? If I were to give some scores:

Plot: 6.5/10
Characterization: 9/10
Development of Plot: 7/10

Truthfully, the plot did not fascinate me enough. It was a good read, something that will honestly kill your time. There was nothing really of the 'WOW' factor in there. The background to the story seemed cryptic and it drew me in initially, and I was thinking it was going to be a long, long story, but turns out, it was actually pretty short. Despite the length of 142 chapters, each chapter lasts about 20 pages and are very easy to finish.

[SPOILER]

It's a story set in Japan, in Year 2008, whereby there is a news, about a spate of human disappearances on the rise. One day, in school, Yoshina Ageha's childhood friend, Amamiya Sakurako, disappears right before with his eyes, not forgetting to mention "Save me." Spurred on by her words, Yoshina decides to check out her disappearance, knowing it is somehow linked to the "Psyren" card that both she and him hold. How did they get the card? They seem somehow sick of the society and are seeking for "Paradise". The card came out of a telephone, from a public telephone booth.

He decided to enter the card into a public telephone, and was then asked a questionairre of all sorts of bizarre questions. However, he did not finish the quiz, and instead screamed at the lady who asked her the questions and hung up, thinking that it was all a messed up game and that he wasn't going to rescue Amamiya.

He lingers around, and realizes that this card he holds is highly priced in the society, and that the government and what-have-you, mafia bosses or whatever, are all seeking for this card, due to the special phenomenon it seems to be causing and they are desperate for answers. During a fight with a bunch of bad dudes over the card, his phone rang. Unknowingly, he answered the call to start the ringing sound- and he was summoned to another world.

It was a world of ruins and sand and collapsed buildings. It was a wrecked world where the sky was hazy and there seemed to be no sun. While Yoshina was busy wondering where the hell he was- he was attacked by this monster, and while he scrambles back, someone slices it in half.

Correct, it was his childhood friend, Amamiya Sakurako.

From there on they know, this world, is the future "world". Where humanity seems to have been wiped out, and monsters rages on. The bunch of people find a telephone, which gives them instructions, a map, and a final destination point. After fending off a bunch of monsters, they make it back to present Japan where they were supposed to be in. Afterwards, they learn all about PSYREN from Amamiya's sensei, Matsuri, who told them it is a 'game' that Nemesis Q has created. The card, when placed to the forehead, shows some digits, and that is the 'credit' on the card. Every visit you make into the 'future', the digit decreases and when it reaches ZERO, you have cleared the game and will no longer be summoned into that world. Also, they learn of the hidden 'Psi' that all humans have- just that it has been sealed away. The trip to future has unlocked it. So now our main guy- Yoshina, is going to have some kick-ass powers. Sort of.

The bad guys in the series are known as WISE, people who obviously claim to be 'wise' and want a new revolution- a new world, new humans, and all. They are the ones responsible for the destruction of humanity, and the leader of it all is a man named Amagi Miroku. He was once a test subject for the government, and given special Psi powers.

So basically the story goes on, Yoshina and 'gang' travel in and out of future, learning about what happened in the future, travelling back to the present, and making changes to the present, to prevent the future.

What I basically liked about the whole story was the smooth flow of events. All the dots were properly connected (in a sense) and there was not major loophole (at least not that I can sense) and VERY likeable characters. Even though Yoshina and Amamiya were kind of MEH, the rest of them were actually quite good. Especially the BAD guys. They were more interesting than the good guys for hell's sake.

And sad to say, the plot was very predictable. Yeah, I hate suspense, but when things get too cliched, it becomes a drag. The fighting scenes sometimes were good, but were all TOO short-lived. It ends in a few bloody pages. Nothing really goes on! That's not what you expect in a shounen manga. At least award readers with something good. Fight longer! Don't end it in just a couple of pages. It's not interesting at all, seriously.

Lastly, my big question is, WHAT'S UP WITH THE 'ROMANCE'? To me, it felt like a lump of contorted mess being dumped right inside a nicely brewed soup. It really ruined my impression of the manga. It was just... just... probably because I am also a shoujo-manga reader that's why I found it unbearable, but seriously! Let me tell you what happened in the manga, with sarcasm.

Yoshina: Amamiya... You cared for me when I was young... I grew up and I love you.

Amamiya: Oh... Yoshina, y-you... you don't know... You have always cared for me ever since we entered this world... I love you too!

THE END. THANK YOU FOR READING.

Like hell. That's it. Yoshina pats her on the head and blah, and YAY she falls for him. And uhh, when Yoshina's mother died, Amamiya stayed with him and cheered him up, but you know what? Before the PSYREN incident, they were in the same class and bloody- he did not do a thing! Afterwards, he said he did not understand his bloody feelings until he and Amamiya spent a LITTLE time together. I mean, I don't know. People who have read it will. And then Amamiya becomes all, "I want to fight beside Yoshina!!!" and I'm like, "WHATEVER!!!!!"



Best of Jaejin video. IT IS UTTERLY ADORABLE. (gets away from Psyren topic) The creator did a good job in it. VERY VERY VERY CUTE.



AWESOME-NESS. I loved it. This one was them in a school. Jaejin and Minhwan. If I ever saw them in my school, I mean guys like them, what an enriching SCHOOLGIRL life I would be having. Too bad, in MY school, fairytales are burned to dust.

So all in all, this is D3stinyx saying goodbye.

I'd... remember to update Koi no Kisetsu. Soon. I think.

In the meantime you guys should just read 1/2 Heart. Honestly. I liked it. XD

Signing off.

Actually, there are many meanings to my title. 'The End'. Well, sure enough, my exams have officially ended, with oral the only examination left in the way, even though I wouldn't suppose oral is a crucial subject that students even study or work hard for- due to one simple fact, there is nothing you can do for it. Orals are all about self-confidence. Articulation. Fluency. Cerebral brains, if you might call it. It is actually a relatively demanding process, in which of course, as everyone knows, getting full marks is purely impossible. Teachers always like to pick on you a bit here, and a bit over there.

Tomorrow, my oral examiner would not be one I would be entirely pleased to get. After all, to have a disciplinary teacher, staring at you, and one who is known to have quite the acid tongue (sarcastically-wise), I wouldn't even lift my spirits up and embrace tomorrow with wide arms. In fact, I'm trying to keep my emotions at an equilibrium, so that it would not affect my performance tomorrow. I have told myself to just think of it as Ms Rina asking me to record my picture discussion once again, and just go in there, and talk. Talk about something. Talk about anything. Just talk. Even if at the end the examiner is most likely going to warn me against speaking so much, I shouldn't even bother- my mouth is for me to control.

Throughout the whole SA2 exam period, I tried to give it my all. Honestly I would say I am not going to pass everything with flying colors, well maybe it would be more correct to say that I was going to FAIL with flying colors. Both my Maths exams were horribly done. They were the only ones that kept my smile lingering. My queer, inexplicable smile.

That smile of mine is a mixture of various feelings. Self-hatred. Cold humor.

It's all thanks to my easy-going, positive mindset. And the habitual action of mine to always smile- because I think everyday is a great and beautiful day. It just warms my heart up and I become unreasonably elated.

No matter what, I keep telling myself to give myself that kind of hope, to have that kind of trust in myself, that I was at least, definitely, going to pass THREE subjects. Probably to many of you, you might be shocked, but with a person being both weak in Maths and Sciences, in an education system that puts so much focus into Maths and Sciences, obviously, without me even saying, you know I'm at a serious disadvantage. That was like in bowling- a full strike. 5 subjects can all crash down.

However, I am still going to believe. Because without belief, it's giving up. On yourself. If even you are not even going to believe, then there is basically no hope. It's the worst sin.

Secondly, 'The End' marks the end of one of my many favourite animes, Katekyo Hitman Reborn. True, Katekyo was definitely a highly enjoyable series with amiable, affable characters who always seem to charm you no matter what they might actually be doing. Great characterization and good development of plot, though I would say there was definitely room for improvement. Artland has done a marvellous job in animating the series, and I feel much indebted to them to always having kept up a good standard of animation, unlike most other anime companies who always seem intent on cutting down costs on the animation so as to make more profits for themselves.

There are lots of things that I would miss. Firstly, Hibari. Secondly, Mukuro. Thirdly, PRIMO. I mean, hell yeah, they are ALL HOT. God damn. I love Primo the most, then Mukuro then Hibari. Primo just has all that sexy golden hair and that super awesome gloves that I have always admired of Tsuna's... Damn he makes my day everytime. In the episodes 180 onwards, one would find his picture with the 1st Vongola Family, and Primo is holding his hand out. TOWARDS ME OBVIOUSLY. It killed me every single time, without fail.

KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~

Basically my fan-girl life revolves around one thing, hot guys, hot guys and hot guys.

Evidence:

Started off with a super KAWAII Jong Hun selca that blows my mind away. 8D